How we conceive of the universe is a very fundamental influencer of both our behavior and our emotions. Do we view our environment as hostile, friendly, or neutral? Understanding this can help us understand ourselves and others. It can also be a powerful source of wisdom from which to predict the consequences or rewards we might receive from others in response to our behavior.

For simplicity’s sake, I will say that there are basically three different approaches to life, the universe, and everything. I believe these approaches are hard-wired into us by the time we are adults. The three approaches are idealism, cynicism, and realism:

• Idealism is what we wish the universe to be (friendly)
• Cynicism is what we wish the universe was not (hostile)
• Realism is what the universe actually is (neutral/arbitrary)

Idealists are enthusiastic, positive, optimistic, and filled with faith. Idealists rarely experience great anxiety because their minds are basically wired to assume that their plans will succeed, things will work out in the end, and that they will be OK. This gives idealists great self-confidence and strength in the face of risk which others lack, allowing them to pursue paths that others might assume would result in failure and never try. Idealism is also a weakness, as it blinds us to the very real likelihood of failure when it exists. Idealists don’t like to hear the truth when the truth is bad news.

Cynics are everything that idealists are not: unenthusiastic, negative, pessimistic, and lacking in faith in much of anything. Cynics assume that things will not work out in the end, that all good plans are immediately blown to bits the minute the action actually starts, and that people are untrustworthy. Cynics are able to predict danger ahead with great ease - cynics know that people are flawed, imperfect, and frequently stupid, and they lay their bets on mankind’s failings, and the universe’s seemingly cruel irony. Cynicism is also a weakness, as it blinds us to opportunity and creates a rather large lack of self-confidence and willpower in the face of what appears to be insurmountable odds and an environment that destroys everything that is ever attempted. Cynics don’t like to hear the truth when the truth is good news.

Realists are difficult to identify. They appear as cynics to the idealists and as idealists to cynics. Realists find themselves told by one person that they are being overenthusiastic and have too much faith in mankind by one person while another tells them that they bring a dark cloud with them everywhere they go. Realism is a great strength in that they want to hear the truth and will be open to bad or good news without being blinded to the other. Realists can predict danger ahead while also forging forward with some belief in the possibility and hope of success. Realism is a weakness in that realists will tell the truth to cynics and idealists and thereby drive them away.

May I be so bold as to point out that it is my observation that the entertainment we consume on TV, in the movies, and in books, newspapers, and on the radio in music and news reports tends to either be cynical or idealistic? In fact, I might even be so bold as to say that it often seems extreme.

We watch TV shows where heros fire guns that never run out of bullets, winning battles against impossible odds, flying helicopters and planes without having ever tried to before, and driving like professional race car drivers with no training. People regularly perform feats impossible in the real world, and themes are built around impossible goals and unachievable dreams.

The future is portrayed as dark, rainy, Gothic, terrifying, and sinister, or it is portrayed as being a Utopian paradise where everyone is wise and all of our problems are solved.

Romantic stories of impossibly pure people with pure motives and true love in their hearts play in one theater. In the next is the story of two unbelievable cynics moping their way through a horror movie in which the world burns as they always knew it would.

Realists look to the left and the right of them and find that they are surrounded by people who buy into one of these world-views and lazily adopt it as the filter through which they view the universe. They don’t want to hear the bad news, or they don’t want to hear the bad news.

Like the Babylonian mythos which saw humanity caught in a struggle between gods of chaos and order, these two warring factions, idealists and cynics, would have us choose between them. If we refuse to choose, either of them will accuse us of being on the other side.

Our problem is maintaining a state of realism. Denial is a powerful thing, and denial is the engine that drives the machinery of cynicism and idealism. Denial that bad things happen in the world - such as money donated to feed the children of the world could end up being used to purchase weapons for a terror organization. Denial that good things happen in the world - that the money donated did in fact make it into the hands of people who worked very hard for almost nothing to ensure that food was delivered to children. We must be on guard against denial of good and denial of bad. Both exist in quantity in the world, but we do not have to choose between them. We can choose realism.

Idealists would do well to look into works such as Machiavelli’s book The Prince, and related works such as The 48 Laws of Power by Greene.

Idealists will find these cynical works that play to the basest nature of man’s ambition to obtain power. However, within these books are the keys to unlocking the denial that leads to idealism. The ability to see the political interplay around one adopted by so many, even when they do not realize it, and the understanding that people will behave perhaps dangerously when motivated by fear.

Cynics would do well to read inspirational works, such as Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits or The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck. These books show the basic goodness and desire of humanity to achieve what they want within the bounds of ethics and morality.

There is a fine line to be walked here. It is all too easy to become a cynic and withhold too much of ourselves and walk around in paranoid delusion that cut-throat political schemes are being hatched with every email you receive. It is naive to think that everyone is out to get you and always in everything for themselves.

It is equally naive to believe that no one is out to get you and only concerned about others. It is foolish to go through life thinking that everyone has your best interest at heart and that if backed into a corner would not make some tough decisions in which you might be disappointed.

Don’t be naive. Be realistic, and be discreet with your observations.