You have been working at this job for about six months, and after searching around on the internet, several off-the-record conversations with coworkers, and reading some want ads, you have suddenly awakened to the fact that you are being paid about half what you could be making somewhere else. You want a raise. How do you get one, and how much should you expect?

The first instinct that most of us have is to begin seeking our pay increase by complaining to coworkers about how unfair it all is. Unfortunately, telling everyone how angry you are will not increase your chances of receiving an increase in salary from your boss. Quite the opposite, in fact. Complaining at work about your pay only makes you appear to be worth less on the market. After all, if you took your job for less than the market will bear, then you must not be very smart. That’s how most people will see it, even if they smile and pretend to agree with you to your face.

The next step that most people take is to come up with a bunch of arguments as to why the current rate of pay is unacceptable, and then to package those up and take them to their boss and demand more pay upon threat of resignation.

This is not a good plan.

Threatening to quit is the same as quitting, and it is essentially extortion. By pressuring someone else to give you money under threat of harming them by removing yourself from their available resources, you are committing blackmail, and most managers respond very, very poorly to being blackmailed. If you threaten to quit, expect to be fired.

Believe it or not, really good managers who understand that a truly miserable person on the team can poison morale and lower productivity far more than losing a single team member could ever do will take a threat to quit as a resignation. They will say, “That’s fair. I accept your resignation. I will notify HR immediately.”

If you back-pedal, expect them to resist you and press hard to ensure your resignation sticks. If you are disgruntled and of the mindset that threatening to quit is good business, your boss probably wants you off of their team already, and you threatening to quit is like a gift from above for which they have been hoping for some time. Threatening to quit is not a way to increase your pay.

Likewise, do not find another job and then tell your boss you have found one and hope for a counter-offer. If you receive a counter-offer, it most likely means your boss is desperate and needs you to fill a slot for a short time while they hunt down your replacement. I recommend that you never accept a counter-offer from your boss after you give notice. Most people who accept counter offers leave their jobs within six months - voluntarily or by being laid off or fired.

Thus, it makes absolutely no sense at all to go to your boss and lie about having received an offer for a job that you do not have firmly in hand hoping that they will move quickly to increase your pay. This gambit has been known to work in the past, but only in a truly tight job market where your boss is convinced it is impossible to replace you. If you lie, it is obviously unethical and will potentially be discovered and destroy your ability to use your current employer for a reference.

More importantly, a good manager will call your bluff. “You have an offer? How wonderful for you! When is your last day?” They will turn around to their computers and fire off an email to HR and start processing you out while you are stammering and stuttering trying to change your story.

Your boss is never as desperate to keep you as you think they are. Anyone can be replaced, and most people who made it to management are risk takers and may view you daring them to fire you as an exciting game to play. They may take you up on it even if it makes no business sense to do so just to enjoy an adrenalin rush.

As Morgan Freeman said in the movie Deep Impact, “It may seem that we have each other over the same barrel, Ms. Lerner, but it only seems that way.”

These are not good ways to get raises.

So, how do you go about getting that raise you deserve?

First, if your pay is more than 5-10% lower than the pay you think you should be getting, the best way to get a raise is to leave your company. Since you continually update your resume with your latest information, contact some recruiters and get yourself out there interviewing. Say nothing to anyone about your plans to leave. SAY NOTHING TO ANYONE. If you tell even your very best friend at work, by the end of the day, 30 people will know that you are leaving.

How to Resign

Manager Tools has an excellent set of podcasts advising you on how to perform a clean resignation that leaves a good impression and allows you the possibility of return should your adventure to greener pastures result in failure. Protect your reputation as a seasoned professional by resigning with style: How to Resign Part 1, How to Resign Part 2, and How to Resign Part 3

This is not a good thing. You might feel some sort of delicious revenge in allowing rumors to circulate you are trying to find a job or interviewing. You may believe your boss will reel you in, apologize for everything, and offer to double your pay out of fear. They will not. They will do the opposite, more than likely. They will marginalize you, find a replacement, and make plans to step you into a more harmless role while you job shop. Keep your job search entirely private.

Once you find a job, do not consider the deal closed until you have an offer firmly in hand. Until they make an offer and you talk salary, you have no new job. Once you accept the offer, then begin preparing for your departure and inform your boss that you are leaving.

The truth is that expecting to ever receive more than a 5% pay increase from your boss is pretty unrealistic. Most companies have limits on the pay increases that can be awarded. Some allow for one-time dispersals of checks, but those do not become permanent and are single events you cannot expect again in the future. If you need more than a 5% increase, changing companies is the answer.

If you can live with a smaller increase at work, and you truly seek to be promoted or receive a raise, then the best way to do that is to document your accomplishments in a presentation. Classify your accomplishments regarding your job, and ensure you have just as many which are things your boss never asked you to do. Show that you did all of the little things you boss mentioned in passing, that you caught the small assignments and details they never planned to follow up on.

The presentation should be no longer than 5 slides, and it should have 4 or 5 bullets per slide. Each bullet should be fairly brief (5 words) and have a measured accomplishment. Schedule 15 minutes with your boss, and take your laptop to her desk on the big day and sit down and ask if you can walk them through your accomplishments.

After you are done with the presentation, if your boss praises you and remarks on what a good job you have done, close the deal. “Is there room in the budget to give me a small increase within the next 60 days?” Yes or no, at least you asked, and if the answer is “No, I’m sorry,” at least you can go about your job search knowing you did what you could.

Most importantly, always remember that if you do not like your current pay that you agreed the pay was fair when you took the job. It wasn’t until you started comparing your pay to other people’s that you became convinced it was unfair and that your situation must change. Most people are fairly happy with their salary until they find out someone doing the same thing is being paid double.

Your options are simple:

1. Leave
2. Stay and find comfortable acceptance
3. Ask your boss for a small increase

All other options, such as lying about having a job offer, talking about a job offer, letting rumors out you are unhappy, telling friends you are shopping for work, suddenly wearing a suit and taking the afternoon off, demanding a pay rise or threatening to quit, and actually resigning hoping for a counter offer… they all lead to you eventually being fired or leaving anyway. Don’t bother.

Instead, show effectiveness, show self-confidence, and show humility. Wrap up your report of your accomplishments, remind your boss you are a favorite employee, and make the big ask. The worst thing that could happen is that your boss suddenly sees all of your value at once and thinks more highly of you later. You never know, the next time an opportunity presents they may reach out for you and have a reward in hand.